Mr and Mrs Granger
by Windrises
Summary: In order to save money for his next year at Hogwarts, Ron pretends that he and Hermione are getting married. He even schedules a fake wedding, which Hermione is shocked to hear.


Note: Harry Potter was created by J. K. Rowling and is a film series owned Warner Bros.

Hermione Granger had finished reading a book, that had over five-thousand pages. It had only taken her a few days, to finish the book. She put the book away and started relaxing. Her latest school year was almost over. Unlike most of the other students, Hermione really liked school. She thought, that school was one of the most compelling, intriguing, and exciting places in the world. However, her classmates highly disagreed with her opinions. Hermione wasn't too happy, that the year was about to end. She wanted the school year, to keep going, so she could do more assignments and write more book reports. However, she was a little excited, about Summer, because she had been wanting to read books, at a more frequent pace. She planned on reading a few hundred books, during the Summer.

Hermione was hoping she could enjoy some quiet time, but she wasn't given that, because her noisy friends were prancing around the hallway. She heard running, screaming, singing, and crashing. She wasn't very happy, about all the chaos, that was going on. She considered going into the hallway, so she could find her friends and tell them to be more quiet. However, she figured they'd bother her, if she visited them, so she stayed in her room. In order to make sure her friends didn't bother her, Hermione came up with a sneaky idea: She decided to pretend, that she was asleep. She got on her bed and put some covers on. She closed her eyes.

Hermione's closest friends, Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley, started knocking on the door. In order to make them think she was asleep, Hermione started snoring. Harry looked at Ron and said, "Hermione's probably asleep."

Ron replied, "That's good. Since she's sleeping, we can go into her room and take her snacks."

Harry said, "Ron, I don't think that's be the most admirable thing to do."

Ron replied, "Harry, friendship isn't about admiring people. It's about getting to take whatever you want, from your friends."

Harry responded, "I don't think you understand the concept of friendship."

Ron replied, "Unlike you, I don't watch hours of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic."

Harry responded, "You watch that show, all the time."

Ron replied, "You're supposed to take credit, for the things I'm embarrassed about. That's what friendship is about." Ron opened Hermione's bedroom door and went inside. Harry followed him. Ron opened some cabinets and started grabbing some snacks.

Ron spent so much time, grabbing snacks, that Hermione was getting impatient. She opened her eyes, stared at Ron, and asked, "What are you up to?"

Ron said, "Hold on there, Hermione. You were supposed to be sleeping."

Hermione folded her arms and replied, "I was just pretending, to be asleep."

Harry had a confused look on his face, while asking, "Why?"

Hermione said, "You guys were making so much noise and causing so much trouble, that I wanted a break, from all the noise. I figured you'd start being quiet, if I pretended to be asleep. My plan didn't work, because Ron started roaming through my room, to steal all of my snacks."

Ron defensively replied, "I wasn't stealing them. Besides, if you want us to be quieter, you should of just asked. You need to have trust, for your friends."

Hermione responded, "I would give you my trust, if you earned it. Frankly, you have a habit, of doing untrustworthy. In fact, Professor Snape thinks you're Hogwarts' most untrustworthy student."

Harry replied, "I'm betting he considers me, to be the second most untrustworthy student."

Hermione responded, "you've gambled correctly." Hermione knew she wasn't being very friendly, to her friends. Although she really liked them and enjoyed hanging out with them, there were times, where she got tired of their antics. She said, "I don't want to be rude, but I think it's be for the best, if I got some alone time."

Harry replied, "We understand. Considering the Summer's coming up, you'll have plenty of alone time."

That made Hermione remember, that she wouldn't see much of Harry and Ron, during the Summer. Although she knew she'd enjoy she getting some peace and quiet, she also knew, that she'd miss her friends. She gave Harry and Ron a hug and said, "I'm sorry, about complaining. I hope you guys have a good Summer."

After saying their goodbyes. Harry and Ron went back to their room. Since their school year was almost year, Harry started packing his stuff. Ron didn't usually get ready, until the last minute. Because of that, he started lounging around, while fiddling with a check. Harry saw the check and asked, "What is that for?"

Ron explained, "It's a check, that I got from my parents. I'm supposed to give it to Professor Dumbledore, so I can go to Hogwarts, for another year."

Harry replied, "That check sounds pretty important. You better take good care of it."

Ron had an amused look on his face, while responding, "It's not like it's a plant, that has to be watered and taken care of." He paused and said, "Speaking of plants, I still have a plant. I don't want to take it with me, when I leave Hogwarts, for the Summer. What should I do with it?"

Harry answered, "Find somebody who wants it or gets rid of it."

Ron replied, "Nah, that sounds too complicated." Ron's nose was runny. He grabbed the check, thinking it was a tissue, and used it to wipe his nose. He put the check on the plant and threw the plant out the window. Ron proudly said, "I took care of two problems, with one throw. I got rid of the plant and the tissue."

Harry asked, "Was that a real tissue? Was it your check?"

Ron looked around, for his check, but he didn't find it. He realized, that he threw his check out the window, when he threw away the plant. Ron nervously said, "I'm doomed."

Harry calmly replied, "I think you're going to be okay, Ron."

Ron responded, "I needed that check, to pay for my next year, at Hogwarts. Since I lost the check, I might not be able to go here. My parents aren't loaded with cash and they're not very tolerant, of my antics. Because of that, I don't think they'll give me another check. What should I do?'

Harry said, "You could talk to Professor Dumbledore, about the situation. He's a very caring and responsible adult, so I'm sure he has an idea, that can help you."

Ron replied, "Okay then." Ron started walking to Professor Dumbledore's office.

While Ron was walking to Dumbledore's office, Dumbledore was being visited by Luna Lovegood. Luna was trying to give Dumbledore a suggestion, about how to improve Hogwarts. She said, "Next year, I think all of the teachers and students should wear warts, on their faces. That way, they'll catch the spirit and essence, of Hogwarts."

Professor Dumbledore replied, "That's a compelling suggestion, Ms. Lovegood. I'll think about it."

Luna responded, "Thank you."

Ron walked inside and said, "Yo, Dumbledore."

Professor Dumbledore smiled and replied, "Greetings, Mr. Weasley. How can I help you?"

Ron answered, "I have a problem."

Professor Dumbledore replied, "I see. What's going on?"

Ron said, "I don't have much money, for my next year of school. I fear I might not have enough, to go to Hogwarts, next year."

Professor Dumbledore replied, "That's certainly a frightening thought. I hope there's a way, to take care of that."

Ron started pacing around the room, while fiddling with random objects. Ron asked, "Do you have any coupons and discounts, for students?"

Professor Dumbledore replied, "There is a way, for students to save money. However, it only benefits certain students."

Ron asked, "What is it?"

Professor Dumbledore answered, "Once two students get married, they only have to pay half, of the usual amount, to attend Hogwarts. If you combine the charge, of two married students, it equals one single student. It's intended to symbolize, that married couples are one perfect item." Ron put his hand on his chin, while creating a new idea.

Ron went back to his room and explained the situation, to Harry. Ron said, "In order to have enough money, to go to Hogwarts, I'm going to pretend I'm married."

Harry asked, "Really?"

Ron said, "Before I came back here, I stole some files, from the file room and made some documents. Thanks to the new documents, Hermione and I will be considered an official couple. We're called Hermione and Ron Granger, on the documents."

Harry asked, "Why would you be called that? Shouldn't you be called Hermione and Ron Weasley?"

Ron explained, "I remembered our conversation, about how it's unfair, that married women always have to change their names. I wanted to be fair."

Harry replied, "That's admirable, but your main plan isn't. You shouldn't be pretending, that you and Hermione are married, especially since you don't have her permission."

Ron responded, "I'll discuss the matter, with Hermione, tomorrow."

Harry replied, "I don't think she's going to have a pleasant reaction, to this situation."

Ron responded, "Although Hermione has a grumpy side, she's a very caring and understanding person. I think she's going to be totally okay, with what I did."

The next morning, Hermione was planning on sleeping in, so she could have plenty of energy, when it came to read her books. However, she started hearing some loud knocking. She got out of bed, walked to the door, and opened it. She looked around and saw Luna Lovegood, who had been carrying a few times. Luna said, "Greetings, Mrs. Granger. You are being invited, to your own wedding. Mr. Granger prefers to refer to this wedding, as a fake wedding. However, it feels like a truthful and real wedding, in my lunar heart."

Hermione had a confused look on her face, while asking, "What are you talking about?"

Luna answered, "You tied the knot. I'm going to be the flower girl, at your wedding. The wedding's in a few hours. Since it's being called a fake wedding, you aren't required to wear a fancy dress." She handed Hermione a bouquet of roses and a toy ring and said, "These are gifts, from Mr. Granger." She hugged Hermione and said, "Congrats. on finding the love of your life."

Hermione was baffled, by this strange event. A card was attached to the flowers. It mentioned the wedding's location, which was in Harry and Ron's room. She had an upset look on her face, while walking out of her room and heading towards Ron's room. When she got to the room, she was ordered to wait, because the wedding wasn't ready. She was told to wait in the hallway, which she was mad about. She gave a bunch of dirty looks, which convinced Ron, to hurry the wedding preparations. A dozen minutes later, Hermione was given permission, to enter the wedding area. She walked inside. She was wearing a plain t-shirt and jeans, which wasn't a very common wedding outfit, but it was more fancy, than the others. Harry was wearing his school uniform, Ron was wearing his pajamas, Luna wore a flower-themed dress and fake warts, and Professor Lockhart was wearing a superhero costume, that was covered up by an old bathrobe. There were a few tables, for food and drinks. The food included the snacks, which Ron had stolen from Hermione's room. Hermione asked, "What's going on?"

Ron answered, "We're having a fake wedding, to make our fake marriage seem more realistic."

Luna threw flowers around the room, while Hermione folded her arms and asked, "What are you talking about?"

Ron explained, "My parents had given me a check, to pay for my next school year. However, I lost the check and didn't have enough, to pay for my next year. Professor Dumbledore only charges married couples the fee, that one student gets. By pretending to be married, I only have to pay half the price. Also, you'll have to pay half price, so I'm benefitting both of us."

Hermione replied, "That wouldn't be benefitting us, Ron. You don't seem to understand the qualifications, to have a legal marriage. It requires signing a bunch of documents."

Ron responded, "I scribbled our names, on some documents. Because of that, our fake marriage is legal."

Hermione replied, "That's not how it works. It involves getting a lawyer and both of us would have to sign the papers."

Ron responded, "We can sign those papers, after we have our fake wedding." Ron put his arm around Hermione and showed her the bizarre wedding, that he had planned. Harry was going to be the best man and Professor Lockhart was going to be the minister. The room was decorated, with broken textbooks, the broken remains of old wands, and homework assignments, that Ron never did. Ron looked at Hermione and said, "I think you should agree, to this fake marriage. It'll give our lives the magic, that it's always been needing."

Professor Lockhart said, "Speaking of that, I think it's time, that we start rushing through his wedding." He looked at Ron and said, "Ronald Weasley, do you take Hermione Granger, to be your fake wife?"

Ron answered, "I sure do."

Professor Lockhart looked at Hermione and asked, "Do you take Ronald Weasley, to be your fake husband?"

Hermione answered, "I don't." She looked at Ron and said, "I want you to be able to go to Hogwarts, next year. However, I'm not going to participate in a fake wedding, in order to make that happen."

Ron asked, "What am I going to do, to get the money?"

Hermione said, "You could ask your parents, to give you another check."

Ron replied, "I'm not so sure, that they'd agree to that. After all, they're mad at me, for wasting thousands of dollars."

Hermione responded, "Then you need to give them a genuine apology and you also need to start trusting them."

Ron replied, "Very well then." Ron grabbed a phone and started calling his dad.

Mr. Weasley answered the phone and said, "Greetings, Ron. What's going on?"

Ron explained to his dad, how he lost the check. He said, "I'm sorry, for being such a reckless punk. I've been an immature troublemaker, to you, Mom, my sister, and my friends. I probably don't deserve to go to Hogwarts, anymore."

Mr. Weasley replied, "I'm not sure about that. After all, Harry and Hermione have been teaching you a lot about responsibility. I'll send another check. I hope you start becoming more mature, in the near future."

Ron responded, "I plan on it, Father. Thank you."

After Ron got off the phone, he looked at Hermione and said, "I'm sorry, for being such a pest."

Hermione replied, "Although you were acting rather pesky, I still really like you. I'm glad you're going to be going to Hogwarts, for another year, with me, Harry, and Luna."

Ron responded, "Me too."

Hermione said, "I hope you're starting to realize the importance, of an honest friendship." She paused and remembered how she wasn't being honest, when she was pretending to be asleep. She said, "A honest friendship is something, that I also need to work on."

Ron replied, "We can help each other, with that." Hermione and Ron high-fived each other.

Professor Lockhart looked at Harry and asked, "Am I getting paid, for being the minister?"

Harry answered, "I don't think so."

Professor Lockhart replied, "Then you brats aren't getting extra-credit points, for a very long time."

Luna looked at Hermione and Ron and said, "I want you to know, that even though your fake marriage didn't work out, I still see you as a married couple, in my heart."

Hermione replied, "That's not a good thing."

Luna responded, "In my heart, I see it as a good thing."

Harry looked at Hermione and asked, "Do you think you'll ever get married?"

Hermione answered, "If I can find a hunky novelist."

Luna whispered to Ron, "You better become an author, Mr. Granger."

Ron said, "That's not my name."

Luna replied, "I consider that your name, in my heart." Ron chuckled, while Hermione rolled her eyes.


End file.
